Can you just tell me why we thought it was a good idea to have children over to our house for a birthday party? Nothing a lone bullet to the brain wouldn't cure.

Can you just call Sisqó at McDonald's and tell him Chris Brown stole his look.  http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20475420,00.html?xid=rss-fullcontent 
What a little bitch, no one wants to hear your album. You tore up the dressing room?  Did you think it was Rihanna?  Fall off of the face of the earth already.

Can you just tell me why we are getting involved in Libya?  Let them figure their own shit out.  Again Mr. President fix this country before we come after you!!!

Can you just tell me why the Presidents NCAA bracket picks are making news? http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/blog/the_dagger/post/Obama-fills-out-his-bracket-picks-Kansas-to-win?urn=ncaab-wp588
What the F*ck?  Run the goddamn country and fix our economy.  Leave sports to ESPN.

Can you just explain to me why idiots ride the tail of a car who is going at least five miles over the speed limit and then flash their high beams and blow their horns?  If I was the driver I would slam on the brakes and hope the other person isn't wearing their seat belts and see them get a mouth full of steering wheel.  This is why we don't have rocket launchers on cars.

Can you just tell me why parents make their children get their pictures made with instruments?  Do you want your kids to get beat up?  It's not right.  Let the wedgies begin.

Can you just cancel Two and a Half Men?  Don't replace Charlie Sheen.  How will you do it?  Overdose, died of Aids from a hooker?  Well maybe come back just so we can see what kind of crap you can come up with.